Sorry, But You’re Not the Customer: Escaping the Echo Chamber of Your Own Perspective

Marketers love to say they “get” their audience. But too often, what they really mean is they “think” they do. The trap? They’re using themselves as the benchmark for what works. It’s an easy slip – especially when you happen to fall into the same demographic you’re targeting. But here’s the uncomfortable truth: even when you fit the profile, you’re not the customer. You’re paid to understand them, not to be them.

Ethnography is a great and powerful tool – I’ve taken plumbing courses, sold double glazing and packed parcels to understand audiences – but ensure you don’t fall into the trap above!

The Dangerous Illusion of Empathy

Picture this: you’re in a meeting, discussing creative routes. Someone says, “I wouldn’t click on that.” Heads nod. The idea dies on the table. But the real question isn’t whether “you’d” click. It’s whether “your audience” would.

That’s the illusion – mistaking personal preference for audience truth. We’re wired to project our own experiences onto others. In marketing, that’s fatal. Your job is to see the world as your customer does, not to assume they see it as you do.

Why This Trap Happens

There are a few cognitive quirks that make this almost inevitable:

• The curse of knowledge: Once you’re inside a brand, you can’t un-know what you know. You lose sight of what it’s like to be on the outside looking in.
• The familiarity bias: You assume what resonates with you will resonate with others.
• The echo chamber effect: Teams reinforce shared assumptions until they become truth.
• The audience-of-one fallacy: Mistaking personal experience for universal insight.

Every strategist, planner, and creative has been guilty of it. The trick is learning to spot it before it shapes your decisions.

The Cost of Getting It Wrong

When you build from the inside out, the consequences show up fast – tone-deaf messaging, wasted spend, creative that feels clever in the boardroom but falls flat in the real world.

Think of brands that went all in on their own hype – campaigns that reflected how *they* saw themselves, not how their customers did. It’s a common thread behind the flops. The result? Missed opportunities and a marketing ecosystem optimised for internal approval rather than audience impact.

The biggest loss, though, is creativity. When teams start saying, “We like it,” instead of “They need it,” innovation stalls.

Shifting from ‘I Think’ to ‘They Feel’

The best strategists build empathy through evidence. They replace assumption with insight.

Practical ways to do it:

• Quantitative research: Understand the what – behaviours, choices, conversion data.
• Qualitative research: Uncover the why – motivations, emotions, and unmet needs.
• Social listening: See what people actually say, not what you hope they think.
• Immersion: Step into your audience’s world. Shop where they shop. Scroll what they scroll.

Empathy doesn’t mean guessing how your audience feels. It means listening until they tell you.

When You “Are” in the Demographic

It’s a strange paradox. When you’re part of the target group – say, a 35-year-old marketing professional selling to other 35-year-old professionals – it’s tempting to trust your instincts. But that’s when you’re at your most biased.

Being in the demo gives you context, not authority. The key is separating *you* from *them*. Ask yourself:

• Would I still think this if I didn’t work in marketing?
• Am I responding as a consumer or as an insider?
• Have I validated this with real data or just gut feel?

Use frameworks like personas, journey maps, and audience archetypes to stay grounded in evidence. They’re not boxes to tick; they’re guardrails to stop your bias from creeping in.

Building Audience Truth into Strategy

Every strong strategy starts from audience truth, not brand opinion. That means:

• Beginning every brief with “What does our audience need to think, feel, or do?”
• Making human insight your north star.
• Testing creative in the real world before signing off.
• Building a culture that rewards curiosity, not assumption.

Strategy isn’t about being the smartest person in the room – it’s about being the most curious about the person outside it.